Coming Home
by Ryan Lohner
Summary: Season two speculation; Joan comes home from the hospital. Finished.
1. Chapter One

"Welcome home, honey," said Will as Joan entered the Girardi house for the first time in three months. Spending the entire summer in the hospital had not been pleasant, but she hoped she could put the entire ordeal behind her, now that she knew the truth about the entire past year.  
  
"So when does school start?" "Couple days," answered Luke, who walked through the door right behind her. "Ah. So I guess the whole thing is some kind of cosmic joke. Take out all my fun time, then make me better when the fun stops." Helen replied, "Yeah, I guess so, so you'd better start getting ready. Here's your schedule." Joan took the piece of paper and checked it out.  
  
"AP Physics. I must have impressed someone." "Hey, I'm in that too," said Luke. "Yeah, big surprise. You're gonna do great, and I'm gonna fail." "If you think that's going to happen, then yeah," said Will. "Basic psychology. People see what they want to see if they want it bad enough, and they can even change some other things so it makes sense." "You don't have to tell me," replied Joan.  
  
She then went on, "Hey, where's Kevin anyway?" Helen answered: "The paper decided to do an article on the faith of the community, so he's out interviewing people." Joan immediately shot back, "He should be here. I'd give him an earful." "Well, they're not allowed to ask family members. Too much baggage could be put into the findings, or something."  
  
Will took Joan into the living room. "Just what did you mean by an earful?" "Remember what I said that first night at the hospital? Pretty much that." Will's composure shook at the statement. "What?" "This whole summer, I've been hoping against hope that what you said was just delirious babbling." "What's the problem? You're an atheist." "Agnostic. There's a difference. Plus, I've been seeing some things lately that have been making me rethink the whole thing."  
  
Joan grew uncomfortable, and excused herself to go into her room. She was tired from the events of the day and took a little nap. But her dreams were not restful ones. She found herself walking down the halls of Arcadia High, when a voice saying, "Hello, Joan," stopped her. She turned around to see God, in the form of the goth kid wearing a kilt. "It surprised me that you singled me out as the one you hated the most." Joan started to walk away, then decided she had to take a stand for reality. "Well, seeing as you don't exist, I don't see why I should worry about it.  
  
"So is that why you're here? To tell me to get back to work?" "It's completely up to you whether you want to believe in me. Many people have lived long, happy lives without ever giving me a second thought. I watch over them all the same." "Well good. From now on, I'm going to be giving YOU the silent treatment."  
  
"Joan? Joan?" Joan woke up to find her mother standing over her. "You were talking in your sleep again." "Really? What was I saying?" "Something about not existing. Don't worry about it too much." "How's Dad doing?" "He's not happy about it, but he says you have to make your own choice." "Where have I heard that before?" 


	2. Chapter Two

"A cloudless night. Romantic street lamps. A stroll through the park hand in hand. It's enough to make you puke."  
  
Luke looked at the girl next to him and smiled. "Well, you're still doing it, Grace. Does that say something about the company?" Grace replied, "This is for your eyes only, you understand. I was willing to give one public kiss; after that I'd rather uphold my reputation." "Private is a different matter, though, right?" Grace accepted the invitation and they brought their lips together.  
  
After breaking it off, Luke said, "I've been thinking. We can't go around like this forever. With school starting tomorrow we have to decide whether this is a real thing or not." "What's the problem? You think you'll have trouble holding it in?" "Yes, but it's more than that. It'll mean I can't do this kind of stuff at all during the day, and my parents are going to wonder how many nights out with friends a science geek can have."  
  
Grace stopped walking. "That's the best you can come up with?" "I'm afraid if I do anything more complicated I'll get them mixed up." "Well, just try it for a while. You might be good at it."  
  
Luke had reached the door of the house before realizing that nothing had really been solved. He supposed they would talk about it on their next date. As he walked in, he found his parents on the couch. Will started things out: "So, how was the old last night of freedom?" "Oh, great. I met up with Friedman, we cruised the mall, played some games, and I found this really interesting phenomenom with the way the light reflects off-""Okay, okay." Helen interrupted. "Just make sure to have a good night's sleep, okay?"  
  
Luke grinned as he walked up the stairs. His tried and true conversation ender had come through again. As he entered his room, he was surprised to find Kevin inside. "Just give it to me straight, there's a girl, right?" Luke closed the door. "Is it really that important that you have to ambush me like this?" "Once school starts who knows when I'll see you again?" He had a point. "Okay, yes there is. But I'm not giving you her name, she'd kill me." "Ah. Say no more, I know exactly who you're talking about."  
  
As Kevin wheeled into the hallway Luke followed him. "What do you mean? How do you know?" Kevin stopped at the door to his room. "You think mom doesn't discuss the problem kids with anyone who'll listen?" "Okay, so you know. Just don't tell anybody, all right?" Kevin shut the door, but Luke kept going. "I'm serious, don't tell anyone! Kevin, please don't do it!" No answer came, and Luke figured that was as much as he could do, so he went off to bed.  
  
Downstairs, Helen and Will prepared to retire as well. "You ready for tomorrow?" Will asked. "I'm never ready. The best I can hope for is to not be completely unprepared." "Well, I'm sure you'll do great. You always do." Helen ended the chat with, "I think we've got a pretty good family, in a pretty good community. I hope things never change." 


	3. Chapter Three

As the Girardi kids walked into school, Luke turned to Joan. "You seem a little nervous. Anything up?" She replied, "I'm just not looking forward to seeing Price again. I did accuse him of being the devil, after all." "He knows you didn't mean it. Come on, Physics is this way."  
  
Joan followed her brother, lost in thought. Price was actually only a small part of what she was afraid of. She was worried about seeing Adam again. He had visited her a few times since she revealed her secret to him, but there always seemed to be some kind of wall between them that wasn't there before. She wondered if she had crossed the line from the eccentric girl he loved to outright nuts in that conversation. All thought had to be put aside as she entered the classroom.  
  
"Jane!" Joan cringed as she heard the voice behind her desk. Figuring that at least he wasn't mad at her, she turned around. "Oh, you're in this class too. How about Grace?" "Probably. You know how she likes to show up late." Before either could say any more, the teacher called for attention, and the class began. 75 minutes later, it was over and Grace had not shown up.  
  
Joan soon ran into her in the hall. "So you didn't get into AP Physics?" "Actually, I did." "Well, you just missed the first class." "A word of advice: if you show up for the first class, they expect you to show up for all of them." As Grace walked away, Joan shrugged. At least one of her friends had stayed the same.  
  
At her locker, Joan thought she saw-no, it couldn't be! She looked around, but there was no sign of the cute guy god who had first contacted her, just as she expected. She was then distracted by Adam coming up next to her. It may have not been real, but Joan had developed some courage to try things she wouldn't have before during her time talking to God, so she cut right to the point: "Are things going to be different between us?" Adam looked taken aback, then asked, "What are you talking about?" She went on, "You don't think I'm crazy?" "What, because of that thing you said? No, you were sick at the time, you were probably seeing lots of stuff that wasn't there."  
  
He continued, "It is pretty interesting, though. You thought God was asking you to do all these weird things, so you did them? You never wondered if it was real?" Joan got a little flustered by the direction the conversation was going. "Do we really have to talk about this?" "I'm just interested. It'll help me know you better." Joan had to oblige to this, and answered, "Well, of course I didn't believe it at first, but when these visions kept popping up I really had no choice." "So after that you just did what you were asked?" "Not all the time. There were some doubts about it, like joining the cheerleaders, or wreaking the sculpture-"  
  
Joan stopped, but she knew she had said far too much. Adam looked about as she would expect after that kind of revelation. He had some difficulty getting out words, then stammered, "Y-you're talking about m-my sculpture? The Thing Made of Stuff, or whatever your mother w-wanted to call it?" Joan let him continue. "So you thought God wanted you to do something that and you kept on believing it was real?"  
  
Joan fought the tears that were welling up and said, "No, I wasn't being asked to do that, I just thought I was!" Adam spat back, "Seeing as it was all in your head, I'd say that's the same thing!" The bell rang before they could go any further. Joan ran off, hoping she hadn't blown the friendship for good. 


	4. Chapter Four

As Grace walked away from Joan down the hallway, she saw Luke up ahead. Sighing to herself, she prepared for another discussion about their relationship.  
  
"Hey Grace, where were you?" Luke called. Once she was close enough to talk without others hearing, she said, "I went over it with your sister." "Well, you'll be happy to know that Friedman didn't make it." Grace had to admit, he knew what made her happy. "I hope he's crying his eyes out over it." "Actually, it's more of a weight off his shoulders." "Drat."  
  
By now Grace had had enough of dancing around the subject. "So where do you want to talk?" Luke took a step back. "Actually, I have another class coming up. We should wait until after school to handle something that big." "A stay of execution, very good. I'll meet you on the front steps." "It's a date." Both of them cringed at the clumsy choice of words.  
  
.........................................................................................................  
  
Sitting at his desk, Kevin looked over the results he had acquired the past few days. He didn't notice Rebecca walking up to him until she stopped by his desk and said, "Anything good?"  
  
"You'd be amazed how many different religions there are in this town," he said without looking up. "I met this one couple who said they were Sikhs." "Well once you're done, come to me. I'm writing the article." She walked away, the frostiness between them that had lasted for months not weakening at all.  
  
Kevin put the papers aside and headed after her. "You know, I haven't seen you in a while. What have you been up to?" She replied, "I met this one guy who turned out to be married, and another one who cleaned out my bank account to buy drugs, but after that I found someone really nice." When she saw Kevin's shocked look, she added, "Actually, none of that happened. There hasn't been anyone."  
  
Kevin repeated the question, "So what have you been doing?" "I work for a newspaper; I've been doing stuff around the office." "So why haven't I seen you?" Rebecca stopped and turned to him. "I was devastated when I found out what you'd done. I thought we'd shared something special. I haven't been able to bring myself to get this close to you again until now."  
  
Kevin said to that, "A while ago I saw someone I knew before this," he gestured to the chair, "and she told me what an asshole I was. Then I wrecked the life of a nice guy who made one mistake, just because I didn't get a second chance. I told myself it was because the system was being too soft, but it was because of me. I don't want to be that person anymore, and I'm trying to stop it." Rebecca replied, "If you ever make it, maybe I'll be able to do this again." She walked quickly away and to her desk. 


	5. Chapter Five

On his lunch break, Will went to the local deli as usual and bought a ham sandwich. He got out his cell phone and dialed. At his workstation, Kevin picked up. "Hey Kevin," said Will. "Hi, dad," was the answer. "So am I in trouble or something?" "No, I've just been having a slow day and I thought I'd see how that project of yours is coming." "Dad, in your line of work, a slow day is a good thing. Anyway, I've gathered all the data I need. Now Rebecca's writing the article." Will remembered the name. "She's the one that stood up for me a few times, huh? Of course, that might have just been because you were there-""Dad, can we talk about something else?"  
  
Will sensed he had gone somewhere he shouldn't have. "Okay. You ever think about doing some more basketball?" "If Bear can set me up again, sure." Suddenly Will noticed something that took his mind out of the conversation. "I'll have to talk to you at home," he said, and hung up. He walked over to someone that had just entered and said "Excuse me." At that, the person turned around and his heart skipped a beat.  
  
He was looking at the woman he had seen die, then come back to life, and then stand before him again after she had died for real. "You're not, you can't be," he stuttered as he backed away. The woman said, "You're right. I can't be, and I'm not. Have a seat, Will."  
  
Will sat back down, and the woman joined him. "You look amazingly like a woman I knew a couple months ago. You're going to think I'm crazy, but I had some kind of vision-," "I know," she replied. "You did a good job finding those scars." After he regained his composure somewhat, Will asked, "Who are you?"  
  
"I'm God," she said. Will replied, "You'll understand if I don't really believe that." "That's why I chose this form, to make it easier for you to believe. Ask yourself, did you see that woman as you were leaving the hospital, or didn't you? You know the answer. And I did know about what she said to you just now, didn't I?" "So you're saying that was really you?" "Yes."  
  
Will went on, "Let's say I believe you. Why are you talking to me?" "I'd like you to do something for me. I visited your daughter a few times last year and gave her some tasks. They were all pretty mundane, and didn't really affect the big picture much. But I did have some bigger plans for her. Now all that is in jeopardy because she took a walk in some long grass while wearing a short skirt."  
  
Will, still struggling to believe what was happening, asked, "You mean the Lyme disease?" "Exactly. She thinks she was hallucinating the whole time." "So just appear to her again. What's the big deal?" "It's not that simple. She's refusing to see me, and I can't make her see me without taking away her free will. And if her free will goes, so does everyone else's. You follow?" "I think so. So why are you telling me this?"  
  
God made His request. "I can now only appear to her in dreams. I tried it already but didn't get far. If I do it again, she might block that off as well. I'd like you to tell her about this conversation. Maybe it'll open her mind enough that she'll let me appear to her again." "Okay. I'll do my best." "Thank you. This place really does make good ham sandwiches, doesn't it?" With that, God left the building, and Will was left puzzling over what had just happened. 


	6. Chapter Six

Helen breathed a sigh of relief. She had made it through the first day all right, and the rest of the year now didn't seem quite so formidable. Some of her new students showed quite a bit of promise, and she intended to help them realize their potential in any way she could.  
  
She was snapped out of her thoughts by someone calling, "Mrs. Girardi?" She turned and saw Adam in the doorway. She said, "Adam, what are you doing here?" He responded, "I had a bit of a talk with your daughter, and some strange things came up. I'd just like to talk for a bit." "Okay, I'm here for you."  
  
Adam went on, "Did she ever tell you what she thought was going on when she had the disease?" "No, I don't think she's comfortable opening herself up like that." "Well, she did to me, and I said I believed that she believed it. I thought that was the right answer. Since she didn't tell you I guess she doesn't want you to know, and I'll respect her wishes there. But ever since then, things haven't been the same. It's like she's become more introverted."  
  
"Well, Adam, I'm not sure what I could say that would make you feel better," said Helen. "The people at the hospital said the disease could make her a completely different person, and she may have had it the entire time I knew her. Was she like this before? Have you noticed any changes in her since you moved here?" Helen bit her lip, then gave what she hoped was a good answer. "She was closed off to me before, but she's stayed that way while we moved here. She's never been comfortable really opening herself to me. I'm sorry, that's all I can tell you."  
  
"Okay, thanks," Adam said as he started to leave. Helen called out, "Wait! I noticed you haven't said Joan's name since you came in. I think you can help yourself with this by saying what you feel like calling her." Adam thought for a few seconds, and realized, "I don't know."  
  
.........................................................................................................  
  
"Here's my findings," said Kevin as he put some papers onto Rebecca's desk. "Thanks, I'll see you tomorrow," she said coldly.  
  
Before getting back to work, Kevin told Rebecca, "You know, I really did mean what I said before. It's not easy, but I don't like the kind of person I am and I'm trying to change it. You believe me, right?" "Yeah, sure," she said.  
  
"Well, that's all I had to say." Kevin started going back to his desk, when Rebecca called his name. He turned around, and she said, "Once you do think you're ready, why don't we have dinner some place?" "I'd like that," he replied. He started back again, with a smile on his face. 


	7. Chapter Seven

As the bells rang to signal the end of the day, the students of Arcadia High filed out the front doors and headed home. Luke met Joan near the bottom of the steps. As she turned to him, he noticed something. "You've been crying," he said. It was a statement, not a question.  
  
"Yes," was Joan's reply. "Is there anything I can do? You know I'm here for you." Luke asked her. "I don't think so," she said. "Well, at least tell me what's going on. I want to decide if I can help." Joan took a breath, then said, "Okay. I said something to Adam I shouldn't have, and we didn't part on good terms. I haven't seen him again all day, so I don't know if I wrecked things."  
  
Luke told her, "You're right. I don't think there is much I can do there. Although, maybe I can talk to him-," "No," Joan said. "I'd like to just work this out myself, if I can." By now, Luke could see the tears welling up in her eyes again. He said, "If that's what you want, then okay, I won't do anything. If you change your mind, I'll always be here."  
  
Joan noticed Adam coming down the stairs, and called to him. He glanced over, then turned back and kept going. "I'll fix this. Just wait and see," she told Luke before leaving and heading back home.  
  
Luke shook his head at how badly his sister could screw things up for herself. Then he looked back at the door and saw Grace coming out. He quickly made his way over to her. "So where do you want to do this?" "Just wait for all these people to leave," she said.  
  
After a couple minutes the coast was clear, and Grace started things out. "As you've probably gathered, I'm not very fond of PDAs." "What's PDAs?" Luke responded. "Boy, you really are a nerd, aren't you? Public display of affection." "Oh. Yeah, I did notice that." "So you'll understand if I'm hesitant about taking this thing any further."  
  
"We've been here. We should try to come to some kind of final decision right now." "All right. You want more, I don't." "Yeah, I know you have a reputation to keep," Here Grace made her move. "Stop talking. Okay, I didn't want to say this, but I will. The reputation thing's not all that's keeping me from a real relationship."  
  
Luke was caught off guard. "All right, so what else is there?" "I don't think I'm ready for one." Both of them just looked at each other for a few seconds. Finally Luke said, "That was unexpected. Not at all like, well, Grace." "There's more to me than the anti thing. I'm a complicated person."  
  
Luke couldn't believe what he was hearing. "So there's no chance? It's over?" Grace shook her head. "Who knows? When I am ready, I'll probably go for you." This didn't do much to placate Luke, so she went on. "Hey. My bat mitzvah party's in a few months. You and Joan are invited. Maybe I'll feel differently when I'm a woman." Luke was a little more pleased with that, so Grace gave him a quick peck on the cheek and walked away. 


	8. Chapter Eight

Once everyone was back home, Will found himself in the kitchen helping Luke and Kevin set the table. "So, how was everyone's day?" he asked them. "Very enlightening," said Kevin. "I think I'm starting to make some real progress." Will couldn't quite tell if he was being sarcastic, but moved on to Luke. "Not quite that," he replied. "But I'm still not giving up hope." "Keep that up and I'm sure you'll succeed," said Will.  
  
In the living room, Helen approached Joan, who was resting on the couch. "You know, Adam had a little talk with me today," she said. Joan instantly perked up. "What did he say?" Helen answered, "He asked me what you were like before we moved. You've kept yourself so distant from me I wasn't able to give a real answer, but I got the impression something bad had happened between you two."  
  
Joan paused for a bit. "When I first got diagnosed, I told him what my hallucinations were. Today he wanted to know more but I told him too much. It was something pretty hurtful. I haven't seen him since." Helen sat down next to her daughter. "Have you tried to see him?" "Not really. I'm just so afraid of what he'll say."  
  
Helen had thought through what she would say. "Honey, I know you're not comfortable telling me just what has been going on, so I can't really know what's wrong now. But I do know that shutting yourself away isn't the answer. Why don't you call him?" "What, now?" "Yes. There's still a few minutes until dinner. I'll leave you alone."  
  
As Helen left the room, Joan went to the phone and dialed Adam's number. She got the answering machine. Not wanting to give up, she left a message. "Adam, it's Joan. I know I said something terrible that I can never take back. But please don't shut me out again. I don't think I can handle that. Please, I just want to talk to you. Call me back." As she hung up the phone, the tears were forming again.  
  
A few seconds later, the phone rang. Joan picked it up, and heard Adam's voice say, "Hello." Now with the tears fully streaming down her face, she said, "Adam?" "Yeah. I guess I kind of left you hanging there." "Yes, you did. Please say I didn't ruin things between us again."  
  
"I don't know. I was hurt very badly by it. Bad ripples." "Please, just don't do it. I'll do anything, just don't stop talking to me again." She heard Adam take a breath. "I don't know if things can ever be the same between us again, but I'm still willing to try and work on it if you are." "Oh, I am, I am!" "All right then. I'll see you tomorrow. Goodbye, Jane."  
  
As Joan hung up, her mother called her to dinner. As they ate, Helen asked her, "Is everything okay?" She answered, "Yeah. Yeah, I think it is." Will next said, "I guess you and your mother had a pretty good talk. If you don't mind, I'd like to have one after dinner." 


	9. Chapter Nine

After dinner, Will and Joan sat on the living room couch. "I'm not quite sure how to start this out," Will said, "so I'll just ask something. Have you been talking to God recently?" The blunt question was designed to allow him to use his police training to interpret Joan's response, giving him some idea of whether something divine was going on.  
  
After initial shock, Joan visibly relaxed and simply said, "Adam told you?" Now Will had his answer. He may never have really believed in God, but the evidence, something he lived his life based on the infallibility of, was too strong to see it any other way. "No," he replied. "Then how do you know?" "I had a weird day."  
  
Will explained what had happened the day Joan was put into the hospital, as well as the conversation he had at lunch a few hours ago. He finished with, "You tell me, is all of this convincing enough for you?" Joan was clearly overwhelmed, but finally rambled out a response. "I was so sure it wasn't real. It couldn't possibly be real. But, every time I did what He asked, things turned out okay. Can there be that many coincidences in just one year? What do you think I should do?"  
  
Will put his arm around his daughter. "Honey, you're growing up. You're becoming your own person, and taking on your own responsibilities. With this kind of decision, I can't make it for you. But, I will tell you what I think. If all this is true, you've been given an incredible privilege, and it would be a shame to throw that away. Whatever choice you make, I'm sure it'll be the right one, and I'll support it." "Thanks, daddy."  
  
That night, Joan again found herself walking through the halls of Arcadia High. As she reached her locker, a voice called out, "Joan." She turned around and saw the cute guy who had been the first to talk to her. "Tried and true look. What's the problem, lack of imagination?" "You see me how you want to see me. You were angry at me before, but now you're just confused, so you're going back to the beginning."  
  
Joan tried to think about that, but then thought better of it. "Whatever. So you're employing other family members now?" God gave a small laugh. "No, that was more of a temporary thing. See, I'd like you to start seeing me again, but to do that you're going to have to show a little faith. Belief without proof. A lot of people consider that a good quality for a person to have."  
  
God walked off, and Joan was left alone to think. Before the previous year, she had her doubts about God, but didn't really question when he started talking to her. When she had found out it may have all been the product of Lyme disease, it had been a big "of course" moment that she had stayed with all summer. Then she made her decision.  
  
"So what's it going to be?" Joan looked up again to see another God, the old woman who looked like Mrs. Landingham from The West Wing. "You know that already," said Joan. "That's right, I do." "My father said you had bigger plans for me. Does that means the assignments are going to get harder?" "If you want them to be hard, they will be. You'd be surprised how much your own thoughts on a particular task influence the ease with which you complete it. Good night, Joan. See you tomorrow."  
  
The End 


End file.
